Second Chances
by joywriter1980
Summary: Just again a fluffy after 'Endgame' story.


Disclaimer: As always Star Trek Voyager and it's characters is owned by Paraoumt / CBS. I surely don't make any money with it (not that anybody would pay for that), this is just for fun.

A/N 1: Written for the 5th year anniversary of VAMB, where you could pick between several first lines to write a story.

A/N 2: Again a big thank you to elem and Sira for beta reading this and for your wonderful suggestions. You have no idea how wonderful you are!

**Second Chances**

It happened five minutes after the lights went out.

Thunder had been rolling for some time now and lightning must have struck the generator near the house, plunging it into darkness.

Kathryn scrambled around her living room, searching for candles with only the dim light of the open fire to help her. She was wondering why the emergency generator hadn't kicked in yet when, as if on cue, the lights came up again. Sighing in relief, she was about to settle down again when Madjula, the two-year-old Labrador she'd received as a welcome home gift from her family two months ago, started to bark loudly and ran to the front door. Kathryn heard someone knocking.

_W__ho could be outside in this weather?_ She wondered and hurried to open the door, grabbing Madjula by her collar before she was able to make a move forward.

Kathryn was more than a little surprised to find her former First Officer standing in front of her with a bag flung over his shoulder.

"Chakotay! What are you doing here?" She finally managed to say after a few seconds of silence. "I thought you were in Sweden with Seven."

"Seven and I aren't together anymore. Are you going to let me in? I'm totally soaked and I'm almost freezing to death," Chakotay mumbled grumpily.

Truth to be told she already knew that he was no longer with Seven. B'Elanna had called earlier that day and given her the news but of course, she wasn't going to tell him that.

"What did she do?" Kathryn asked innocently as she let him enter.

"Kathryn, please; I know B'Elanna already told you. By now all of the crew know," he chided her while he stepped over the threshold and went straight into her living room.

She only chuckled and closed the door again, before she followed him.

Leaning against the doorframe of her living room, she watched Chakotay as he stood in front of the fireplace, trying to get warm again. His hair was plastered to his head and she noticed that he was shivering.

"You look like drowned cat and you're dripping all over the carpet," Kathryn pointed out after a few moments of silence. "I'll get you some towels." Without waiting for his reply, she made her way upstairs.

When she re-entered the living room again, he was still standing at the fireplace, staring into the flames. He must have been deep in thought, because he jumped a little bit when she approached him.

"Here, dry yourself," Kathryn said as she gave him the towels. "I have a guest bathroom down the hall. You can hang up your wet clothes there. Do you have some dry clothes with you or do you need some?"

"No, thank you I have some here in my bag."

She nodded. "Okay, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." And with that she left the room, leaving him alone again.

He wasn't sure if he'd done the right thing by coming here only hours after he and Seven had realised that a relationship between them would not work, at least not here on Earth. But he'd needed to see Kathryn and find out if he still had a chance with her. He just wasn't sure yet if he should try a direct approach and tell her what he wanted, _namely her_, or if he just should 'test the waters' first.

After he'd hung up his clothes and pulled on fresh ones, Chakotay made his way to the kitchen where he found Kathryn in front of the replicator.

"There you are," she turned and greeted him as he entered, motioning him to sit down at the table. She punched some instructions into the control panel and walked over to him with two steaming bowls of mushroom soup.

"Here. Eat this, we don't want you to catch a cold," she said, placing a bowl in front of him.

They ate in silence for some minutes, each observing the other out of the corner of their eyes.

Kathryn willed her body not to react too obviously to his appearance, but his clothes did fit him perfectly and after he'd dried his hair, he'd neglected to comb it; dishevelled and flopping boyishly over his forehead, Kathryn had to stop herself from reaching over and smoothing it back from his face.

"So why did you come here?" Kathryn finally wanted to know.

Chakotay was silent for a few seconds, stirring his soup, contemplating how to make her understand that he regretted hurting her and wanted a second chance.

"You already know that I'm no longer with Seven," he finally said, still staring into his bowl. "We both tried, but noticed soon enough that we don't harbour enough feelings for each other to build a relationship. So we talked about it and in the end she asked me to leave," Chakotay paused to gather his thoughts and then decided to take a direct approach. Laying his spoon down on the table, he looked up again, straight into her eyes.

"I want you, Kathryn," he blurted out.

"You what?" Kathryn asked in shock, almost choking on her soup.

"I want you back."

"As far as I recall you never _had_ me in the first place," she pointed out sarcastically.

Chakotay sighed inwardly and tried to think of what to say next. "I'm sorry, I know this came out wrong," he finally admitted. "Truth is I miss our dinner dates, I miss our discussions, and I miss just sitting with you on the couch doing nothing. I miss us, Kathryn…I miss _you_! And I came here to ask you if I, if _we_, still have a chance."

_Oh no__, Mister that's not as easy as you think_, she thought angrily and let the spoon fall into the bowl, the splashes leaving stains on the tablecloth.

"So what do you expect me to do now, Chakotay? That I throw myself into your arms and pledge my undying love for you as soon as you show up here? You did hurt me, Chakotay. I know we had our ups and downs and I knew I couldn't take for granted that you'd wait for me until I was free of my burden of commanding Voyager. I was aware that I would probably lose you to another woman someday and I tried to prepare myself for that eventuality but it did hurt me deeply when I found out about you and Seven. It wasn't only the fact that you chose Seven as your partner, but also that you chose not to tell me, your friend."

Chakotay at least had the decency to hang his head at that. "Again, I can only tell you how sorry I am. But Seven and I were still getting to know each other. We just wanted to see if things would work out and we decided not to let anyone know. I'm sorry you had to find out that way.

They sat together in silence for a while, until Kathryn stood up and cleared the dishes from the table; the soup had gone cold over their discussion.

"I have a guest room upstairs," she said as she put the bowls into the recycling unit. "You can stay if you want. I'll have to go to Starfleet Headquarters tomorrow, but you can stay here, maybe we can talk some more," she offered when she turned to face him again.

He nodded and got up. "Thank you again, Kathryn, that means a lot to me. I hope I, _we_, still have a chance," he paused. "Well I think I should turn in now. I'll see you tomorrow Kathryn. Good night."

"Good night and sweet dreams," she wished him and started cleaning the counter as she listened to his retreating footsteps.

After a few seconds, she paused and leaned on the counter. _Just what should I do?_ She thought. _Do I still harbour feelings for him? _That answer was simple: Yes. Was she still in love with him? That, too, she was able to answer with a definite yes! Would they be able to work it out? Only time would tell.

After she'd given Madjula one last scratch behind the ears, Kathryn made her way upstairs. She could hear him rummaging around in his room and stopped just outside his door, contemplating whether or not to ask him if he still needed anything. Deciding against it, she went straight into her own bedroom to turn in for the night. They both had enough to think about. Alone.

The next day, on her return from Headquarters, Kathryn found Chakotay sitting on the porch, facing the backyard.

Madjulah, who had been busy chewing on her favourite dog toy jumped up and barked joyfully upon her arrival, wagging her tail back and forth rapidly.

"Hello," Chakotay greeted her and waited until Madjula had let go of Kathryn and returned to her shadowy spot on the grass, before he gave her a warm hug, which she readily returned.

"I have some iced tea; would you like some?" He asked when he let go of her again.

"Yes, thank you. That would be nice," Kathryn said and gratefully took the cold drink, while sitting down next to him.

"I've eaten lunch already, but I could prepare something for you if you're hungry," he offered and was half way out of the seat again, before Kathryn put her hand on his arm to hold him back, barely containing her laughter at his exaggerated concern.

"No thank you," she said to him. "I already had lunch with Owen. He said to give you his regards, by the way."

Chakotay nodded his thanks and sat back down again. "So, how was your meeting with Admiral Hayes?"

"It went well," Kathryn informed him, leaning back too. "He hinted that debriefings will start in approximately two weeks and that we'll get a note on this matter soon. And how was your day? I see you've mowed the grass. You didn't need to do that, but thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Kathryn; a thank you for letting me stay yesterday. Other than that I sat here most of the time reading and keeping Madjula company."

They both sat in silence for a moment or two, sipping their drinks and watching Madjula, who was again busy chewing on her toy as if her life depended on it.

"Care to take a walk through the fields?" Kathryn finally broke the silence. "I could show you where I grew up."

"I'd love to."

They slowly walked down the path, Madjula running in front of them, looking for rabbits and birds to hunt.

"Do you see that house?" Kathryn asked, pointing at a farmhouse some distance away. Only the roof could be seen over the tall cornfields. "That's the house I grew up in, and over there is my thinking tree," she pointed to a tree, standing about a half a mile to the left of her mother's house. "It may sound strange, but the tree was one of the things I missed the most while being out there. I hid there so often when I was a child, when Phoebe had managed to make me angry, to solve mathematical problems or just when I needed time for me alone," she smiled wistfully as she remembered her childhood days, but suddenly she turned serious again.

"Chakotay, there's something I wanted to ask you," she paused. "I know I can't force you to answer, but I need to understand this."

At his nodded agreement she came to a halt and asked, "Why did you choose Seven?"

"This one is not easy to answer Kathryn," he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I could choose the obvious and say I was lonely, she was there, I took the chance. But it wasn't like that; it wasn't that simple."

He was silent for a few moments as he gathered his thoughts.

"The truth is of course, that I _was_ alone. You know I've always held you deep in my heart and I tried to keep faithful to the promises we made on New Earth. I understood that we couldn't pursue a relationship while Voyager was on its way home but, as the years went by, I realized that we weren't able to keep our pledge. Our love for one another turned into a friendship and over time, as the hazards of the Delta Quadrant became harder to bear, we drifted apart and even our friendship began to falter. Please don't get me wrong, Kathryn, I'm not accusing you of anything, it was my fault too, but at some point I just had the feeling that I'd lost you. The time we spent together became less and less, so I guess somewhere along the way I became resigned and lost hope," he took a deep breath and slowly started walking again.

"As for why I choose Seven … I'm not sure. I have to admit, she made the first move. She showed interest in me and …," he paused unsure how to proceed. "She **is** a beautiful woman and I have to confess I was flattered by the attention."

Kathryn nodded, scanning the fields in front of them before turning her head to meet his gaze.

"I can understand. I'm sorry that I pushed you away so often and not a day goes by that I don't regret it but out there, for me, it seemed the only way to protect myself. I know it was wrong. I knew it even back then and I wish I could turn back time to make things right," she paused and, despite the seriousness of the situation, she couldn't help a small laugh escaping her lips as she realized that she, or rather her older self, had done just that.

"We pretty much messed things up didn't we?" Chakotay said, not able to contain his laughter. They both started to laugh uncontrollably and tears started to gather in their eyes. They were not tears of joy though, but ones of sorrow for opportunities missed and years wasted.

It took some time for both of them to calm down and, walking again, they eventually came to a halt in front of a big old oak, whose branches proudly stretched into the sky.

"This is my thinking tree," Kathryn said, her voice filled with pride as she let her hands caress the rough bark. "Come up, there's enough room for both of us," she motioned for him to follow her and started to climb up the tree.

"Are you sure it will carry both of us?" Chakotay asked worriedly as he carefully climbed up behind her; while he tree groaned and cracked under their combined weight.

"Yes of course," Kathryn laughed at his obvious discomfort. "The tree is healthy and strong. Don't worry. Here," she patted on a free spot next to her on the big branch she was sitting on. "Sit down."

Kathryn had to resist the urge to laugh as he very ungracefully managed to sit down next to her.

"Seems there were no trees on Dorvan when you were a child," she gently teased him and then pointed ahead of them. "Look how far you're able to see from here."

Chakotay had to admit it was quite a beautiful sight. The corn was ripe and stood proud, the tall stalks craning towards the blue sky and dancing in the afternoon breeze.

"And there's my mother's house that I showed you earlier," she pointed out. "Care to make a visit?" She asked.

"I'd love to see your mother again, Kathryn," he nodded in agreement.

"Good, let's go. I'm sure she has some brownies for us. You'll love them. They're the best in the whole area." Just as she made a move to climb down again, Chakotay held her back with a serious expression on his face.

"Kathryn, I just wanted to let you know that if I'd had the slightest idea that we'd be home soon, I would've waited."

"I know Chakotay," Kathryn whispered before she, with one big jump, made it safely back to the ground again.

She looked up to him.

"So are you coming?" She asked and watched him tentatively try to find his footing.

"Umh, Kathryn. I don't know how to climb down…"

The next days went surprisingly well. Even though Kathryn had to check in at Starfleet Headquarters each morning, she was able to be home in the early afternoon every day. Chakotay and she used these times for long walks through the fields with Madjula, working in the garden together and visiting the nearby town. But most of all they had lengthy talks about their past, present and future.

On the fourth day of his stay, Kathryn was surprised to find Chakotay and Madjula waiting for her outside Headquarters when she was about to leave.

"Chakotay, what are you doing here?" She wanted to know and gave him a light kiss on his cheek. "Did something happen?"

"No, everything is fine," he soothed her at once. "I wanted to surprise you. Can I convince you to go for a walk?" He offered her his arm.

"Of course, I'd love to," she gave him one of her beautiful smiles and while she linked her arm through his, they slowly made their way to a nearby transporter station.

"Would you mind waiting outside for a moment?" He asked. "I have to talk to the operator about our destination."

She looked surprised but nodded her acceptance.

While she waited outside, she looked at the blue cloudless sky and smiled dreamingly. She wasn't sure why, but she felt happy. Over the last few days, she and Chakotay had been able to mend their friendship and finally acknowledge and talk about their feelings for each other. They'd broached subjects that they weren't able to talk about while they were still onboard Voyager and now they both knew they were on the right path.

Kathryn was still daydreaming when Chakotay came back out of the station and motioned for her and Madjula to follow him inside. He led them onto the transporter padd and smiled as he pulled a scarf from his pocket.

"What are you doing with that?" Kathryn asked with a lifted brow.

He didn't answer her, but instead he asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she reassured him. "With my life."

"I want to take you somewhere for a surprise. Am I allowed to blindfold you?"

She was more than curious by now and so she nodded her agreement.

After Chakotay had blindfolded her and made sure she wasn't able to see a thing, he ordered the operations officer to transport them to the coordinates he'd given him before.

The first sensation Kathryn felt as soon as they materialized was the sun warming her face. She automatically lifted a hand to take off the blindfold, but Chakotay laid his hand on her arm, stopping her.

"Just one moment, Kathryn. I want you to use your other senses first. She nodded and let her surroundings engulf her. Again, she noticed the warmth that met her face. The air smelled fresh and a light breeze ruffled her hair. Next, she could smell the briny scent of seawater and heard the whoosh of the waves that met the shore only to crawl back into the sea again. She crouched down on her knees and ran her hands over the sandy ground letting the fine grains trickle through her fingers. Standing up again, she turned to Chakotay.

"A beach!" She smiled. "You've brought me to a beach."

"Yes, I did," he admitted and pulled the scarf from her eyes.

Kathryn had to blink as the light of the glaring sun momentarily blinded her. Turning slowly she took everything in. They stood approximately ten feet away from the shoreline, where the waves gently met the beach. The sand was a perfect white and in the distance, she could see the outline of a mountain that stood proudly against the sky.

"This is just beautiful, Chakotay," she turned to him and palmed his cheeks with her hands; standing on her toes she softly pressed her lips on his mouth.

Though the kiss only lasted some seconds, Chakotay's whole body began to tingle.

"You're welcome," he breathed. "Do you want to take a walk along the beach?"

"I'd love to," Kathryn smiled and let Madjula off the leash so she could do some exploring in her own. Then she and Chakotay strolled along the shoreline, watching the dog run happily through the shallow water. After several minutes both of them kicked off their shoes and began to wade through the water too, relishing the feeling of the cool water around their ankles and the sandy ground beneath their feet. Chakotay wrapped his arm around Kathryn's waist and pulled her near to him. While she laid her head on his shoulder, she had to admit that she felt warm and sheltered and didn't want this time with him to come to an end.

Suddenly it was as if somebody turned a switch inside her and it became clear to her that these last days had been **exactly** what she wanted. She didn't want to come home after work to an empty house or spend her evenings alone with Madjula anymore. She wanted someone to talk to, to spend time with, to laugh and to cry with. She wanted Chakotay.

With this realization, she came to a sudden halt and stepped out of Chakotay's embrace.

"What's wrong," he asked worriedly.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I just realized something," she reassured him with a smile.

"Care to enlighten me?" Chakotay asked with a frown.

Instead of an answer, she merely nodded and stepped into his arms again. Placing her hands gently on his chest, she stood on tiptoes and placed her lips on his.

Too shocked at first at the sudden turn of events Chakotay stood frozen in place, until, with a low growl from deep in her throat, Kathryn ran the tip of her tongue along his closed lips, until they finally opened, granting her tongue the desired entrance.

Chakotay's hands wandered from her waist over her back, crushing her into him, while hers tangled in his short hair.

After several breathless moments, they broke apart, desperately in need of oxygen.

"I…" she gasped. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

Chakotay let out a loud laugh and took her in his arms again, nuzzling his face into her hair and whispering, "I love you too. And you just made me the happiest man in the universe. He palmed her face with his hands and softly kissed her again.

After stepping back again, she gave him one of her beautiful smiles and with a loud whistle, gave Madjula the order 'heel'. At once, the dog was by their side.

As they slowly they made their way back to the transporter station and Chakotay encircled her waist with is arm again, Kathryn finally, after seven and a half years, felt she was home again.

~~ end ~~

2008-11-13


End file.
